Dear community

The biggest shift in my life over the last 12 months hasn’t been more money or greater stability in this uncertain world. It’s been recognising my thought patterns and being part of a stronger social justice community - that is blimmin powerful!

I’d love to know what your biggest shifts have been - questions at the end 🔽🔽🔽

Here are some things I’ve been sitting with through one:ones and group sessions this week.

Absolutely no logical order, read it, take a moment, see which one you remember, that's the one to hold on to this week.

Can we outrun class? Why does it still matter? The resources we’ve cultivate, whether wealth, education, relationships or experience, don’t guarantee we or our contributions are valued. This made me think about 'class' and how as a South Asian, education was seen as a way of jumping up a 'class' level, or lifting us up. However do the systems of oppression ever fully allow us to lean into that energy of cultivating those resources. How much of those systems are in us/me and how much it's the external system (unless it's at such an extreme level - thinking of Rishi Sunak😁).

Doubt deserves our attention. That voice about an activity, a person or an idea tells us something powerful. Lean into that voice with curiosity not judgement.

Asking for fair recognition is an act of agency. Naming a price for our work or setting a boundary will feel exposing, especially to us chronic over-givers and people pleasers. People will say no. Their response doesn’t determine your worth, it's a sign of your resistance to the system!

Restoration needs to be part of how we live. When those in power stay in 'fight', we might move to 'freeze', 'fawn' or 'flight' to keep the overall situation in a grounded place.. And then the system reinforces itself. But what if we come from a grounded place to meet the 'fight'?

Dream the imagined future. As I reflected with three clients this week, on their last year. Their imagination of the future year, may not have been met, but the learnings and changes because of that imagined future were incredible.

Community needs our attention. I wonder how many of us are lonelier than we acknowledge. Men, have we relied too heavily on our partners and families for connection, without building wider friendships? And for all of us, how often has doom scrolling taken the place of reaching out?

We reveal ourselves a little at a time. A small fact about our lives. An opinion. Something about who we love. We test the waters: will this part of me be accepted? I wonder what life would look like if we felt able to show up more fully. What do we hold back, and what would make it safer to share? I wonder what system of oppression gets in our way?

Start the day with resistance to time. My best days often start with moving, dancing, singing, playing or meditating. Sometimes, all it takes is a minute to feel a little more present.

We have more options than we realise. Gosh. I forget this all the time!

Some questions to sit with

You don’t need to answer all of these. Choose one that catches your attention and give it a little space.

Past

• Where were you 12 months ago? What were you doing?
• What have you learnt since then? Three things.
• How has life changed? Three things.
• What are you most proud of? Three things.

Present

• What pattern keeps showing up? One core pattern, don't overthink it.
• If nothing changed, if you tried to change nothing, what might the next 12 months look like?
• What three things matter most to you right now? Don't over think it!
• Which systems or relationships of power most affect your life? See diagram below.
• Without overthinking it: do you spend more time being or doing?
• What three things unground you? What helps you return?
• How would you describe where you are with community, work and yourself in one sentence?

Future

• What is one thing you want to change in yourself over the next year?
• What is one thing do you want to change with your community or team?
• What is one thing you want to change in society or in systems of power? Yes I know there are about a 100!
• How could you influence some agency towards that societal change this year?
• If you asked yourself to be “more” this year, more of what?

An invitation

I want to work with one person, for one year, exploring how they see themselves, how they push against the systems shaping their lives and the lives of others. 'Self-care' being about you and about society.

Why one year? As there's no 30 day weightloss method for internal and external systems change.

Sometimes having someone alongside us helps us stay with the question, see a pattern and take a step.

If this speaks to you, reply to this email.

And whether or not you’re looking for support, I’d love to hear..

What has been your biggest shift that you are proud of, over the last 12 months? I want to remind us, that even when there's instability around, things are still shifting for us.

Diagram

A song...

Otis - 2024 Remaster The Durutti Column PREVIEW   ​