Dear amazing community

After an impromptu night wild camping with Eli and some friends, I realised a few things.

South Asians don't traditionally camp. 🤣

Or perhaps more accurately, many of us don't.! And there is a deeper story behind that.

A few years ago, I invited some South Asian parents to go camping with me. One replied:

"We spent generations moving out of tents."

That stayed with me.

My parents and grandparents would have lived through the upheaval of Partition and would have started in tents. They never really talked about it.

With no judgement at all, my parents never took me camping.

But we can change. We can break old patterns. One step at a time. One yes at a time! When an opportunity comes.

I often talk to coaching clients about what I call a "skateboard moment"... the moment we choose not to skate down the familiar path of an old pattern.

Perhaps when I say 'yes' too quickly. Or say 'no' too quickly.

Buddhism has taught me about "the gap". A moment of awareness where a different future becomes possible.

Infinite possibilities by catching that moment.

Camping has always felt like one of those moments for my heritage. And a moment of healing.

And several truths and ways of being can exist simultaneously.

How did I get to this message?

By coming away with bruised knees and a black eye.

(An overenthusiastic combination of football, cricket and questionable decision-making.)

Eli, meanwhile, remained completely injury free. 🤣

And that taught me something deep.

He is not me.

He enjoys time alone. He likes one-to-one connection. He is thoughtful and measured.

I throw myself into things. I love community. I love teams. I (often) push body and mind further than I probably should. And I love that about me!

Both truths and ways of being can exist at the same time. His way and my way.

As I reflected on the weekend, I realised this shows up everywhere in my life.

In parenting. In friendships. In leadership. In my service.

Sometimes growth isn't about convincing others to be more like me. It is about honouring my own way of being while making room for theirs.

I've already been thinking about this deeply as my work shifts from humanitarian agency support into supporting divided communities to build solidarity. Both types of service can exist at the same time. I don't have to choose one truth over another.

How can I also honour the truths of divided communities?

So, as you enter this week, I leave you with two questions, which I sit with...

🌱 What pattern am I carrying that isn't truly mine, but was inherited through your heritage or previous leaders at work?

🌱 Where could I honour your own way of being while also making space for someone else's?

Perhaps there is a small gap waiting for you this week.

And perhaps, inside that gap, a whole new possibility. That feels exciting.

P.S. Eli is currently doing his homework. I am currently wondering whether I should retire from competitive sports. 🤣

P.P.S - Can we be in community?

If you're enjoying this newsletter, make a donation towards Project 10^9 going on the road this summer to 500 activists. I invite a donation for petrol money here - https://buy.stripe.com/3csdUcavDdJG0w06oG​

Men's Circle relaunch, shout and let's talk - https://menscircle.carrd.co/​

And also, I'm quietly launching Decolonising Coaching - https://decolonisingcoaching.carrd.co/​

🎵🎤 Remember, we can fight in many ways

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